Catholic Prayer is a Personal Relationship with Jesus

Catholic Prayer is a Personal Relationship with Jesus

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Do Catholics believe in a “personal relationship with God? It may surprise you to learn that the answer is yes. However, what we mean by this term is quite different from what other Christians may mean. For Catholics, having a personal relationship with God means to enter into the Mystery of Divine Intimacy. But properly understood, prayer should lead us to a personal relationship with God.

Our challenge is that Catholics tend to treat prayer as a duty rather than a relationship. In fact, if we’re not careful, we may adopt the pagan idea that I can get God to do what I want if I just satisfy certain requirements in prayer. While God does sometimes reward our faithfulness in prayer by answering our requests, the main purpose of all prayer is forming a deeper, more intimate relationship with God.

Catholic Prayer is a Heart-to-Heart Connection

The Catechism of the Catholic Church teaches that there are four main forms of prayer. The problem in the way I pray doesn’t lie in the forms I am using. The problem lies in my attitude and perception of those forms. So let’s work on changing that attitude. How can we look at each form of prayer to remind us that it’s all about a relationship?

Contemplation

Contemplation is all about a relationship. A heart-to-heart connection with God is the very definition of contemplation. The way most spiritual masters define contemplation, it is something that you can prepare your heart to do, but only the Spirit can really make it happen. We might say that contemplation is the goal of all Catholic prayer, but that might be a bit presumptuous. After all, the Spirit blows as the Spirit will. One thing is sure. If you are drawn into contemplation, you are doing something right. Your heart is prepared to accept the special grace of a heart-to-heart connection with the Lord. If you’re not drawn into contemplation, don’t sweat it. It doesn’t necessarily mean you’re not “in.” It might just mean that the Holy Spirit is working on your heart in other ways.

Meditation

Meditation is sadly either a neglected or misused form of prayer. Meditation is an intellectual reflection on a specific element of our faith.  The purpose of meditation is to get to know God – to grow in intimacy with him! Meditation means taking what you know about God into prayer and asking him to translate your knowledge about Him into an intimate knowledge of him. Have you ever heard, “It doesn’t matter how much you know about Jesus, but how well you really know him”? Phooey, I say. What you know about God leads to knowing him. And that happens through meditation. Just ask, “OK, God, here’s what I learned. Show me how this knowledge can help me know you better.” By the way, don’t think that you have to have some mystical experience to be meditating. We’re not talking about humming a mantra here. We’re just talking about humbly asking the Lord to reveal himself to you through the vehicle of your knowledge. Meditation is really the go-to method. Where contemplation is the gold standard of Catholic prayer, meditation is the workhorse.

Worship & Adoration

Lots of people like worship as a form of prayer because it’s fun. There are all kinds of happy, feel-good songs out there that are labeled “praise and worship.” Many non-Catholic ecclesial communities make this music the center of their Sunday services. But if we’re worshiping because it’s fun, we’re missing the main point. Worship is all about love. Worship as a form of prayer (also called adoration) is simply lifting your heart to God in love for no other reason than that you love Him. It’s the faith version of “I just called to say I love you.” My wife loves it when I do that. It’s just good for a relationship. Including your relationship with God. And – hey – nothing against Praise & Worship music! Anything that raises your mind and heart in love is a pathway to worship. You can worship just by thinking or saying “sweet nothings” like “I love you, Jesus. I want to be with you forever, my God, etc.” or by reading the psalms (at least the ones that aren’t lamenting the Exile) or by any other method that expresses love. Praise & worship music is great at lifting your heart in love. It’s a good thing. Just remember, it’s not about you. It’s about the One who loves you.

Praise & Thanks

You know, God doesn’t need your thanks. He doesn’t have a human ego that needs to be stroked by gratitude. But recalling the goodness of the Father is yet another way to receive his love. You see, your heavenly Father intended for all Creation to be a sacrament of his love for us (an outward sign of a spiritual reality that brings about what it signifies). Not only does every good thing you have come from the Father, but every good thing that comes from him is an expression of his love for you. Now that’s enough to make me want to hit my knees in prayer right there. How about you?

Praise is similar to thanksgiving prayer, but it is also similar to worship. Prayers of praise are expressions of love for God because of his goodness (remember – you worship just because you love him). So prayers of praise often focus on attributes of God – his faithfulness, his love for us, his beauty, his power, etc. – and express love for him because of these attributes. Thanksgiving and praise form a ladder to worship. “Thank you for this good thing (thanksgiving). You are so generous in your love to me even when I don’t deserve it (praise). I love you, Lord (worship).” See how that works?

Petition and Intercession

Prayer of petition and intercession are both asking for stuff. Prayers of petition usually ask for things for yourself. Prayers of intercession ask on behalf of someone else. In my selfish little world, both forms of prayer tend to be quite the opposite of reaching out in love. In fact, I often take the embarrassing attitude of a spoiled child wondering if God really cares about me and my needs. But that doesn’t mean that these forms of prayer are bad, or opposed to love. They just need to be approached correctly.

At its heart, asking God for stuff is the recognition that he is the source of all goodness and the loving Father who cares for His Family. Prayers of petition are an expression of trust. Trust is the foundation of any relationship. It is something that should always be strengthened and never neglected. That’s why fidelity is always an issue in marriage, no matter how long you’ve been married. My wife is still hurt if she catches my eye wandering to another woman, even though I have shown her decades of faithfulness. Why? Because trust must always be nurtured.

What about intercession? Again, intercession is the acknowledgment of God as the source of all goodness. But there is something even cooler going on with intercession. I have heard some Christians question why we even bother to pray since prayer won’t change the mind of God. Why would we pray for someone’s healing? If He is going to heal that person as a sign of His love and power, He is going to do it. Laying hands on the person and praying for healing won’t change God’s mind. But it does show that I trust that Jesus could do it if he wanted to. It may also be a good witness to the sick person who may be lacking trust to ask for herself. This is a good line of thought. But it doesn’t quite go far enough.

You see, we also believe (know) that not only is God the source of all goodness, but in His love for us He has invited us to participate in His divine life. That means he wants us to be part of his bestowing goodness on the world. So when we pray for others, we aren’t changing God’s mind. We’re not manipulating him into granting our wish (by the way, that’s what paganism does). But we are participating in any blessing, grace, or actual healing that He chooses to give to the person we’re praying for. God wants us to be part of the gift-giving. Now is that awesomeness itself or what?

Your Action Plan

So here’s your homework. Schedule 3-5 periods of prayer and use whatever forms of prayer you are most comfortable with. But go into your prayer keeping in mind how whatever forms you use lead you to a heart-to-heart connection with God. Focus on the relationship. Then – please, please, please – comment below and share with me if this actually made a difference in your prayer!

This article is part of a series on Catholic Prayer. In the next article, we’re going to explore why Catholic spiritual growth is so difficult. We’re not just going to kvetch, though. We’ll take a look at some solutions to the most common problems.

Brought to you by Jeffrey S. Arrowood at From the Abbey, dedicated to helping you rediscover the JOY of learning and living your faith so you can grow in intimacy with God.

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10 Comments

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  3. […] Catholic spirituality is filled with an abundance of expressions of prayer! We already saw in our discussion of what prayer is that God has welcomed a number of different forms of prayer – from petitions to contemplation. And […]

  4. […] on creating a habit of prayer. You’ve found your prayer language. You are becoming more and more focused on your relationship with the Three Persons of the Trinity. First of all – go You! That’s just a slice of awesomeness! […]

  5. […] vision of God we approach prayer completely differently. If Heaven is a relationship with God, so is prayer. The primary purpose of prayer is not to get into God or to manipulate him to do what we want. The […]

  6. […] you want to be truly happy – truly fulfilled – then you need to fill your life with love. Love of God has to come first. He is the author of love, after all. Love within your vocation comes second. Your vocation is your […]

  7. […] are you serious about getting to Heaven or not? The only way to get to Heaven is to have a relationship with Jesus. Grace makes that relationship possible, but […]

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  9. Manuel Munguia on April 13, 2019 at 2:27 am

    God bless you for the work your doing !⛪

    • jeff@fromtheabbey.com on April 26, 2019 at 2:58 pm

      Thank you, Manuel!

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