1. Reflect on Mary as Mother of God. Read up on Marian theology. There are also many beautiful spiritual reflections on Mary’s role in salvation history.
2. Meditate on the Incarnation. Aside from the romantic image of the baby Jesus born in a stable, what does it mean for God to take on human nature, to become a baby and a child with human parents, to have to grow up, to live a human life? What does this Mystery do for human nature?
3. Meditate on the theological virtue of Love. Read, for example, Pope Benedict XVI’s first encyclical, God is Love
4. Turn your prayer toward praise and worship. Praise is giving God love and glory for the good things He does – like the Incarnation. Worship is giving God love and glory just because He is God. Praise & worship music is a great help in this kind of prayer. With or without music, just lift your heart to God filled with love. Of course, books such as Beginning Contemplative Prayer can also help train you in this beautiful form of prayer.
5. Speaking of praise and worship, attend Eucharistic Adoration! What a perfect way to give praise and worship to God Among Us (Emmanuel)!
6. Study the lyrics and origins of Christmas carols! Many of them – Oh Holy Night (my favorite), It Came Upon a Midnight Clear, Silent Night, etc. – have deep theological significance worthy of prayerful reflection. What a beautiful way to pray!
7. As a New Year’s Resolution you can actually keep, take an easy step to increasing your knowledge about your faith. The Lighthouse Catholic Media CD of the Month Club brings some of the best Catholic teachers right to your mailbox every month for just $5 a month. Even if you don’t have time to read a book or take a class, you can just pop a CD into a player in the car, at work or at home and listen while you’re on the go.

So what are you going to do to make Christmas beautiful? Add to the list – share your ideas below!

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It’s Not Over on Christmas Day – It’s Just Getting Started!

It’s the fourth week of Advent. How are you doing on your Advent observation? Many Catholics use Advent as a time for spiritual reading and reflection, which is great! I love that From the Abbey has played a role in that for some of you by providing your spiritual reading material.

A good temperature reading is to ask yourself what your attitude toward Christmas is right now. Are you getting excited? I know, it’s been a long time since you’ve had the excitement of a child for Christmas day. But as we mature in our faith, that excitement should be growing deeper rather than getting weaker as we come to an ever-greater understanding of the significance of the Incarnation. However, if you’re like most of us (including me most years), you’re probably more exhausted than excited. While the the worldly preparations of Christmas and the shopping season are good as far as they go, when we let them overwhelm our spiritual preparation, the excitement we should have for the coming of Christ dies.

Whether or not you were able to take the time this year for some extra prayer and reflection, the end of Advent doesn’t end your opportunity! Did you know that Christmas is also a great time to deepen your spiritual life? Most of us know that Christmas is not just a single feast day in the Church calendar, but a season. However, too often we think of the Christmas season as beginning on the first day of Advent and ending on Christmas day. Christmas is actually the beginning of the Christmas season! In fact Christmas “day” – the feast of Christmas – is actually an octave! That’s right – eight days of full-fledged celebration! What a shame if by Christmas day we’re sick of celebrating and consider ourselves done. But that’s not all! The Christmas season spreads beyond the octave of Christmas through the Feast of the Presentation, giving us over two weeks of actual Christmas.

So, how are you doing this Advent season? Are you excited, or just plain exhausted? Leave your comments below!

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The Incarnation of Christ is such a great sign of love that it has transformed an entire season of the year in to a season of joy, even for those who don’t know Jesus. In the Incarnation, Jesus so completely emptied Himself of His rightful glory as the Second Person of the Trinity that when He took on human nature, He came to earth as a tiny, helpless baby in a poor family. Imagine the creator of the universe stripping Himself of every form of dignity and power. He could have taken on human nature as a fully-grown human, with at least some station in life. Instead, He puts Himself at the complete mercy of human parents.

True love is sacrificing yourself for the good of another person in order to ensure they receive all that is good. The only better example of love we have is Jesus’ sacrifice on the Cross.

That’s why gift-giving is such an appropriate expression of the Christmas season. In giving gifts to one another, we offer a piece of ourselves (our money representing our labor and time) as an expression of love. Yes, our crazy culture has warped this beautiful expression of love into a materialistic expression of our right to have stuff. But that doesn’t erase the potential of the powerful potential that gift-giving has to point our minds and hearts to the true sacrifice of love made by Jesus.

One way to preserve the true meaning of gift-giving is to include gifts that point your loved ones directly to Christ. As you know, the mission of From the Abbey is to promote Catholic literacy and to lead people to the Joy of the Truth. Gaudete Sunday and the third week of Advent is such a perfect time for you to explore how From the Abbey can help your loved ones find the Joy that comes from knowing the awesome love of God.

Are you ready to get started spreading the Joy of the Truth to your loved ones? Click here to find out how From the Abbey can help!

What else are you doing to point your loved ones to the love of Christ and the Joy of the Truth this Christmas? Please leave your comments below!

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You may have heard (perhaps even from me) that the family meal has become and endangered species, despite the fact that studies show very strongly that eating together as a family is an important way to keep children actively engaged in family life (and therefore away from risky behaviors). Along with the family meal, the virtue of hospitality is also disappearing. It only makes sense. After all, hospitality is simply extending the goodness and comfort of your home to other people. So, if the home ceases to be a place of family community, it also ceases to be a welcome place for others.

While both losses are something to lament concerning our culture, family meals and hospitality are more importantly values that we need to recapture in our own lives.

Evangelizing Through Hospitality

Hospitality can be a key element of Catholic evangelization. The goal of Catholic evangelization is to invite people into the Family of God. What better way to do this than to first invite them into your family?

The family is a sacramental sign of the Family of God. As a sacramental sign, family not only signifies God’s love, it brings that love into the world. The virtue of hospitality invites the “stranger” to partake in your family’s love. The family love that he or she experiences can act powerfully to dispose his or her heart to the love of God’s family.

Exercising the Virtue of Hospitality

So, how do we exercise the virtue of hospitality? There is no real formula. However, here are some general guidelines that you might find helpful:

1. The first step is to build up your own family. Make sure you’re spending time together, eating together, and growing in family love. Of course, every family can use some help growing stronger. I want to recommend a website that I had a hand in creating. It’s called The Parent’s Place. It has a ton of resources for parents at all stages of parenting.
2. Use your gifts. You don’t have to be an amazing entertainer to have a strong virtue of hospitality. The most important thing to share is your time and love. However, we all have individual talents that can boost our hospitality to others. Sharpen those talents. Do you like to cook? Sharpening your cooking skills is easy with resources like Rouxbe, an online cooking school for everyday cooks! Are you a decorator? Get some fresh ideas and beautify your home and your table. Faith and Family Magazine is a great resource for Catholic entertainment ideas.
3. Whatever you do, make it fun and keep it simple. Hospitality does require some level of sacrifice, but it should also be a labor of love. Love makes the work easier and enjoyable. Don’t make it more toil than it needs to be.
4. Take time. The next e-mail will be about giving the gift of “carefree timelessness.” We’ll talk more about the importance of time then. But, the Italians have the right idea. Their dinners can last for hours. Dining is an event for them, not a routine.
5. Remember that it’s all about relationship. The food, the setting, the entertainment is all backdrop for the main event — building relationship. Hospitality is all about invitation, spending time, and building relationship.

The Charism of Hospitality

God considers hospitality (relationships) so important, the Holy Spirit actually gives a special charism to some people for it! Some people have a Spirit-led talent for hospitality, and having people come and enjoy the fruits of their labor is a source of great fulfillment for them. The Church especially needs these people to discern their gift and to step up and evangelize. If you are somebody who really enjoys “entertaining’ guests and who often gets praised despite feeling like what you do is “nothing,” you just may have this special charism from the Holy Spirit. All charisms are for the purpose of serving the Church. How can you use your charism to serve the Family of God?

The Virtue of Hospitality is for Everyone — Just Do It!

Even if you dont’ have the charism – even if frozen pizza and beer is the extent of your cooking skill – we can all grow in the virtue of hospitality – the virtue of reaching out to other people and inviting them to share in the love of family and home. Taking advantage of the hospitality of a restaurant or other public place is fine once in a while, but the hospitality of the home is much more powerful in evangelization.

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So, a quick review: one problem I have with The Shack is the idea that it makes it appear that God wants us to completely surrender our self-will to God and rely on His will alone. While I agree that the main goal of the Christian’s life is to submit his will to the will of God, in the fullness of truth is ever-paradoxical. God calls us to submit our wills to His by exercising our free will – by freely choosing to make His will our will rather than passively surrendering ourselves to God’s will. As C.S. Lewis puts it in the Screwtape Letters, God wants us to surrender our will to His, only to give it back to us in ultimate freedom.

Do I sound like I’m splitting hairs here? An illustration will make my point clearer.

I have been reading / reviewing used books for the Bookstore. I came across Journey Without End by Carlo Carretto, an insightful mixture of pro-life teaching, mystical experience and spiritual direction. The only real problem I have with the book is that the author takes a strong stance against Natural Family Planning. Fortunately, the author is not in favor of contraception. Rather, he is opposed to any attempt to regulate births within a marriage. However, his position on NFP has many of the same problems as the anti-institution arguments made in The Shack.

This quotation reflects the core of his position.

‘I don’t hold with the Billings meth~d, I don’t hold with those who exclusively study the method but neglect reading
the Bible – which teaches how much God loves life and wants o ~r~pagate it and how his providence lovingly watches over each life, over every human being – and so contrive by artifice and selfishness to frustrate the programming done by God. My mother, I heard it said at home, w~s very regular in her cycles and always had her temperature just right.

‘In a word then, with this well-tried method, I should never have come into the world at all.

‘Morality would have been intact, but the divine programming designed to bring me to birth would have been mocked by my mother’s scheming and selfishness.

· cAs luck would have it, she got her sums wrong and 1 was born all the same; yes, I was born.

‘I was lucky enough to be born, though entirely by mistake, with the full consecration of ~morali;y.

cy ou can see these methods aren’t any good, since they get believers used to paying more attention to morality than to love, more to the act than to the intention.

‘In a word, the methods make them self-centred.

‘Wouldn’t it be better to promote faith in God, the hope that he is the true Father, that there’s no need to be afraid of babies, that food won’t run out since God is almighty?

. . .

‘When God programmes the birth of a baby, it’s better to trust absolutely and totally in him.

Like The Shack, this book sets up a false dichotomy between morality and love. Legalism is the error of following the moral law without love, but properly understood morality and love are one and the same thing. The Church is the way the Holy Spirit now guides us to moral truth, which guides us to love. The Church says that Natural Family Planning is in harmony with selfless love, as long as it is used for the proper (unselfish) reasons. Those proper (unselfish) reasons fall under the realm of responsible parenthood.

Yes, we are called to trust in God’s providence. That is where morality calls us to generosity in love. However, God always deals with us as free beings – not seeing freedom as a necessary evil, but seeing it as the way He created us to reflect His image. We are to seek God’s will by use of our free will to pray, discern, and reason what the greatest good is in each situation.

God, should we have another child right now?

• Pray about it and be open to God’s voice
• Evaluate your physical resources – finances, physical space, etc. – with consideration of the good of your family (not selfish desires to hoard physical goods for yourself)
• Evaluate your psychological resources – stress levels, etc
• Remind yourself that you are called to self-sacrifice and generosity in love
• Make a reasoned, prayerful decision based on what is good for your family

It’s not either free will or God’s will; it’s not either morality or love. Truth is most often both and. We are created and called to use our intellect and our will to seek God’s will and to follow Him as free, loving persons.

Check out the Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis! Highly recommended! Click on the image to go to the bookstore.

Despite my disagreement with the author about NFP, I do recommend this book as a wonderful perspective on abortion. Only one available (used). Click on the image to go to the store.

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• Government has overstepped its bounds, once again meddling in affairs that should be left to market forces?

No

• the law puts undue burden on small business who now have to pay a higher premium to insure their employees?

No

• the law does not do enough to help children born deaf or severely hard of hearing?

Nope, not that either

So what is the complaint? It comes from Audism Free America:

The notion that being deaf is an affliction and an abomination which alienates one from society and leaves (one) dependent and isolated is a myth,” the petition states. “We do not wish for your state to be mislabeled as promoting eugenics and linguistic and cultural genocide.

Taken from “Ear-implant law draws dissent“, Wisconsin Rapids Daily Tribune.

What this petition seems to be saying is that deafness is not a disability but just another part of cultural diversity. Therefore, to mandate a procedure that could enable children who are deaf or severely hard of hearing to hear more is like trying to bleach African-American skin white so that African Americans can fit into a white culture better.

Such a ridiculous statement has its roots in modernism, the philosophy that truth is created by personal experience and perception. Modernism celebrates diversity, not because every human person has innate dignity, but because every individual has his own truth. In the case of the petition from Audism Free America, modernism is saying, “Who are you to call deafness a disability. From our perspective, deafness is normal and hearing is an abomination.” Yes, I have heard some proponents of “deaf culture” take the argument that far.

The problem with Audism free America’s position is that deafness is a disorder. Human nature includes the five senses as a normative and universal constituent. In other words, the senses make up part of what it means to be human, and a diminishment of the senses is a diminishment of something that a human person should have (however not a diminishment of their humanity or dignity). Therefore, deafness is a disability based on the standard of human health. Modernism does not believe in disability because it does not believe in a universal standard of human life or of human health.

The problem comes in how we look at disabilities. We tend to look at people with obvious and severe disabilities and say they are disabled and we are not. I have been around severely disabled people all of my life, and I have learned that there is no “they” and “us.” Fallen human nature is fallen for all of us. Disability is not a matter of having one or not having one, but a matter of degree and of kind. People who are disabled in one area of life are also extremely able in other areas of life. The term “disabled” becomes a problem only when we let it define a specific segment of the human family.

One can see the same line of thought in the homosexuality movement. The Church calls same-sex attraction “disordered” because it is opposed to the universal human purpose of sexuality. Modernists see this as an insult that alienates a specific segment of the population. However, the Church realizes that every person’s sexuality is disordered to one degree or another, so calling same-sex attraction disordered is actually a statement of solidarity, not one of divisiveness. Again, modernists rankle because they do not believe that a standard for “normal” sexuality even exists.

I had friends in high school and college who were deaf and hard of hearing, and I learned sign language in the course of our friendship. One of these friends had been brought up in the “deaf world” and had a difficult time relating to the “hearing.” The others tried very hard to interact with everybody, and counted a number of the “hearing” among their friends, even those who did not learn sign language. It was not the deafness that isolated them. In the case of my one friend, it was his desire to see his deafness as something that set him apart and his consequent unwillingness to form relationships with those who would not share his unique “culture.” He had implicitly bought the lie of modernism.

In the end, the petition from Audism Free America isolates deaf people from the rest of us by accentuating the differences rather than acknowledging the fact and universal nature of disability. And their modernist bent would keep children from getting help to overcome their disability. That is just not acceptable.

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Some commentators have criticized Vermont and Ohio for not taking sexting (which is done especially by teenagers) seriously enough. Others have lauded them for saving young adults from a lifetime of stigma and legal problems due to youthful indiscretion. At the heart of this debate is the question, “How much should government legislate morality?”

I have to say that I agree with those who support removing sexting from the felony class of crimes. Sexting is not a sign of a sexual predator (though it can certainly be used for sexual harassment). It is a sign that young adults are not being taught to respect their body or their sexuality. This is the kind of respect that has to be taught in the home. While the government and law enforcement may need to back off from punishing texting, parents, teachers and our society need to step up.

The good thing about the various responses to sexting is that I have not yet heard anyone claim that it is a good thing, or that it is no big deal. Even Ellen Goodman, known for her lack of sexual wisdom, went no further than coming close to calling it good:

The vast majority of pictures are sent to romantic partners. A lot of what we are seeing is young people exploring trust and intimacy. But it’s often boyfriends — or ex-boyfriends — who hold the trump photos. And when that trust is broken and photos hit cyberspace, it’s girls who pay a social price in humiliation and ruined reputation.

Eighteen-year-old Jessica Logan of Ohio committed suicide after her boyfriend put her naked photos out in public, but it was also girls who bullied and harassed her. The girl who trusted was socially ostracized more than the boy who violated that trust. Go figure.

Of course, she cannot resist finding within the issue a feminist cause. That aside, she almost assumes that what’s happening with sexting is part of a healthy process of “exploring trust and intimacy.” Of course, to “explore” trust and intimacy by sending naked pictures of yourself to your “lover” is like “exploring” a financial investment by selling your home and all of your belongings to make an initial investment to see how things go. Sex is the physical sign of a willingness to totally give yourself in trust and intimacy to another person. It should be the last step in the growth of a relationship after trust and intimacy have been explored through friendship and a lifelong commitment to raising a family together has been made.

However, to Ms. Goodman’s credit, she does actually admit that sexting is misguided – a bad idea.

We do not need to criminalize sexting. Instead, parents need to step up and ask themselves some serious questions:

1. Is my adolescent child mature enough to use new technology wisely?

I’ll give you a hint -for most high school students the answer is no, despite the fact that most high school students have cell phones with cameras, etc.

2. Does my adolescent child need a cell phone?

Again, just because all of her friends do doesn’t mean your daughter needs one too. The answer is probably no.

3. Does my child know how to honor his or her body and fertility?

Having “The Talk” is not enough — and students in high school do not learn how to respect the bodies and their fertility even in “sex ed.” Parents – this is your job and it takes commitment, time and knowledge!

4. Does my child focus on developing friendships first before starting to date?

Dating in high school is focused on two things – status and sex. Students who do not have a boyfriend or a girlfriend feel unwanted, like they are losers. Many times dating relationships become a selfish quest for how much two people can snatch from each other – emotionally, financially and/or sexually. Selfless love is best learned when a romantic relationship starts out as a friendship and slowly progresses toward romance, giving two people a chance to know each other and slowly grow in trust and intimacy.

Parents, if you need help teaching your children to respect their bodies and their fertility, and to grow in trust and intimacy the right way, check out the Parent’s Place website. This is a parenting resource put out by the Diocese of La Crosse Office of Family Life. I had the honor of working on this website as designer and secondary writer. It is a great resource for parents.

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No, the people in real danger from abortion are those who reject love. The mothers who put their own needs, desires and convenience before the life of their children. The doctors who are willing to turn a blind eye to what they are really doing because of the great profits to be made. The politicians who refuse to see the truth about the death of babies because being champions of “choice” keeps them in power. These people have rejected love. These are the people who need our help.

And as Christians we believe that this rejection of love is not simple sentiment. Marital love is sacramental. It is a sign of God’s love for humanity, and as a sacramental sign is also effects what it signifies. Marital love brings God’s love to humanity. A husband and wife become one flesh in the marital embrace and conceive new life. They bring this life into the world and they nurture and love this life, bringing their children to the love of God through their own love. To reject new life is to reject God’s love. This is not just a crime. It is a tragedy. People who reject love are the most in need of our help.
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Any hint of ugliness mars the fantasy. And so does any reminder that women who put themselves completely in the service of men could be taken advantage of, sometimes badly.

I agree with Basu’s criticism of Hooters wholeheartedly. The feminist twist of her statement needs some adjustment, though. A woman who puts herself completely in the service of a man within the context of a relationship of love (wherein the man also puts himself in the service of the woman) will not be taken advantage of. Here we get to the real problem. Hooters – along with many other elements of our culture – treat women as things to be used rather than as people to be loved.

Hooters is really selling to porn-mystique of a woman who offers herself as an object of sexual gratification. This same mystique is sold by “exotic dance” clubs and “adult” bookstores, with which we as a society are getting increasingly comfortable. The porn-mystique does lead to abuse because it puts the relationship between man and woman into the context of power rather than love. This past year, an “exotic dancer” from a club in our own was brutally attacked and raped by a patron of the club where she danced. As far as I know, the club took no responsibility for her, either. The same fantasy leads to the same results.

Hooters should be called to task. Gina Sheedy was indeed given unemployment after court action. But was the lesson learned? After all, we idolize people like Hugh Hefner and Robert Brooks (the founder of the Hooters chain) as men who live the dream every man dreams (i.e. the porn-mystique) and lets us share in it a little. Again, Basu hits the issue dead on:

Of course [Hooters] should have protected [Gina Sheedy], but isn’t that a contradiction, when the whole set-up encourages waitresses to at least appear to welcome male attention, even when it is actually unwanted?

The thing is, this criticism should be leveled not only at Hooters, but at our entire culture. The same set-up of the porn-mystique is promoted by every company that practices the advertising cliche, “sex sells.” It is promoted by everyone who cries “censorship!” when a community tries to cleanse itself of exotic dance clubs, adult bookstores and other forms of the sex industry. It is promoted by television programs that take it for granted that every man’s dream is the porn-mystique (Man Answers, for example). It should also be leveled at feminists who insist on relating to men in the paradigm of power rather than love, and who even at times promote pornography and prostitution as ways for women to gain power over men by exchanging their bodies for favors in return. Recently three young women were praised by such feminists for selling their virginity to the highest bidder. These are all ways that our culture promotes women (and men) as things to be used rather than people to be loved. Not only does this cultural set-up lead to abuse, the message itself is abuse.
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1. Voluntary organ donation (opt-in)
2. Automatic organ donation with an opt-out option (i.e. you would have to sign a document if you did not want your organs harvested after your death)
3. Buying and selling of human organs.

“If giving is better than routinely taking organs to prolong the lives of patients needing transplants, then it must aslo be said that routinely taking them in hospital practice would be better than for us to make medical progress and extend treatment ot patients by means of buying and selling cadaver organs. That society is a better and more civilized one, I have said, in which men join together in a consensual community to effect these purposes, than a society in which lives are saved routinely without positive consent and will of all concerned to do so. It must also be said, however, that a society would be better and more civilized in which men are joined together routinely in making cadaver organs available to prolong the lives of others than one in which this is done ostensibly by consent to the ‘gift’ but actually for the monetary gain of the ‘donor.’”

Meilaender makes many of the same points I made in my previous post on this topic, though he follows Ramsey in showing that the problems inherent in selling body parts are also inherent in the very act of transplanting body parts. These acts put our culture on the path of seeing the human body as a resource, a commodity, and a collection of parts rather than as an embodied human person.

However, he also does a great job explaining why voluntarily donating organs is less of a problem than an involuntary (opt-out) system or a commodity system. When someone gives a gift, he or she cannot so easily be severed from that gift. The act of giving a gift (of a body organ, for example) is an inherently personal act. Taking organs involuntarily or buying and selling them separates the organs and the persons from which they came. The person becomes a collection of parts, a resource, a commodity.

The main point made by Ramsey and Meilaender is that how we go about saving lives is of even greater importance than the ability to save lives. Gordon Brown, the Prime Minister of Great Britain, argued for an involuntary (opt-out) organ collection system, stating that such an act would be necessary to avert “an avoidable human tragedy.” This was much the same comment elicited by my previous post on this subject. I like Meilaender’s response:

It is the sort of language that can be used to justify almost anything that promises to help avoid the tragedy of death. And this is exactly the sort of language that, we have come to see, has often distorted the practice of medicine, teaching us to suppose that anything that can be done to ward off death must be done. But the deeper moral truth is that how we live, not how long, is what matters most. And among the possible “tragedies” with which we must recond would be to live longer by means that debase or undermine our humanity.

Critics call appeals to human dignity “ivory tower proselytizing.” As our culture makes the shift from a concern with human dignity to the utilitarian, materialistic concerns of the here-and-now, I think we will find ourselves realizing that the view from the ivory tower was better than the view of those who cannot see the forest for the trees. We have already sacrificed human dignity in the areas of preborn life, sexuality and fertility. We are beginning to downplay the dignity of the dying. In the end, what will we find we sacrificed for the sake of the quick fix?
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